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Inspiration,  Mindset,  Reflection

No expectations & acceptance

Have you ever reflected over how much expectations from yourself or others affect your life? Do you ever feel limited to change or move on because of a situation or relation? There are so many of us putting ourselves in situations that are limiting to us. And the limitations creates a feeling of being disgruntled as they cover life as heavy cloud on a mountain top.

Every single second we become something new. We must let go of our expectations based on the past.

Expectations

Even though some situations such as relations tend to make us feel unhappy we seem to be stuck there. We are someway trapped in a status. In a relation it might be called best-friends, marriage, brotherhood or sisterhood. We seem to be stuck because we expected the relation was going to last forever, and a changed status of the relation is considered to be a failure. In many relationships there are norms and oftentimes written or unwritten rules that create these expectations on us.

Change

We all know that kids grow up, they change. Yhey change interests, they change in knowledge and develop every day. They even remarkably change in appearance. We accept all this as a natural part of growing up. On the other hand, when it comes to “grownups” we seem to expect us to be like Bilbo’s trolls, but instead of turned into stone by daylight we turn into stone by adulthood.

During the whole life, we change. This is something we must accept. We must accept that we are developing just as we accept kids as they develop. We cannot expect from ourselves, nor from others, to be the same person as one year ago, one month ago or even one second ago. We cannot either know what we will become. Every single second we become something new. We must let go of our expectations based on the past and just accept what we become every moment of life. We must be dynamic.

That string is being strained and stretched until its breaking point and when it breaks it hurts.

Acceptance

Therefore, I think, it is not always easy to be static in one certain place, in one way of living or to be attached to certain people. To be able to evolve we must either to surround ourselves with people who has no expectations and accept the way we are and what we become. Or else, there will be friction and tension creating a struggle in life. The whole world is ever changing. Having attachment to something or someone, for me, is like a thin piece of string that prevent the natural development. That string is being strained and stretched until its breaking point and when it breaks it hurts. Sometimes the string completely hinder us to become what we could be.

We have to cut of this string and go on without pointless obstacles in our way. The signs, that reveal which way to go on our way, are everywhere but sometimes hard to see because of this string holding us back, not being flexible for the world in change. Without the string, without the obstacles, we can see and understand the signs more clearly and follow them as they invite us to something new.

Find a way

I believe in living without this string, being free, without expectations. Then, nothing need to be forced, I just need to accept what I cannot change. I believe in living every second, taking one step after the other and find my way with sensitivity.

Nicole Edensbo before a dive of freediving. Photo by: Bastien Soleil
Free life & freediving

I write about this as a reflection of my thoughts and a comparison to freediving. How I approach freediving oftentimes seems to work as a way of approaching life itself. Many times, I have learned to approach life through my experiences from freediving. This issue is nothing different. It can be compared to a dive.

Drop your expectations. Approach your dive and accept what happens.

Every moment the situation in a dive is changing. …from the countdown to officical top until being above the surface again. How I perceive a dive is affected from my approach towards it. In a dive it is important, at least for me, to empty my mind, drop all expectations from myself and others and be here and now. Every moment must be a moment of acceptance. The dive should not be forced just experienced with sensitivity. All the time I must be responsive for the signs that tell me to move on or take a new breath of fresh air. Every dive is a new dive and should be treated like a child with no expectations, acceptance and sensitivity. And the same goes for life itself.


Nicole Edensbo in ascent of a dive of freediving. Photo by: Bastien Soleil

Drop your expectations. Approach your dive and accept what happens, accept change. Do this with sensitivity and you will find your way.
Drop your expectations. Approach life and accept what happens, accept change. Do this with sensitivity and you will find your way.

Be kind to yourself, be kind to others.

Nicole Edensbo, 2020-02-27
Villefranche-sur-Mer, France

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