Recently I read a text that one of my best friends sent to me. The text is about passion and the two different kinds of it. In the text they call it harmonious passion and obsessive passion. It made me stop and think.

Expectations from yourself and people around can easily turn the harmonious passion to something obsessive and destructive.

From within

I believe that through a true passion that comes from within one can achieve extraordinary and amazing things. At the same time there is a risk that the passion develops to an obsessive passion with a greed for the best performances and results. An innocent passion from the heart can easily develop to an obsession, especially when the honest passion leads to the great results by nature. This can be confusing, to know where the limit is. To understand the signs. The limit between love and obsession. Expectations from yourself and people around you can easily turn the harmonious passion to something destructive.

Remember the origin

I believe this is common in many sports and especially within freediving. I have met and heard about athletes who totally lost their passion for freediving because they focused to hard on the results. I have met several athletes who are unkind to themselves. They are unkind since they focus on freediving through external expectations in a result oriented perspective. These athletes have lost their passion through their passion and their extraordinary capacity that comes with it. It is important to always remember why you started. Always remind yourself of the origin. Always have fun.

Passion have to come from within, not from the obsession of external results.

Way of thinking

I always say, that to achieve good results focus must be on the process and not the result itself. With that way of thinking there is nothing called failure, only lesson if you prefer to put it that way. With the wanted performance deep in your mind the way of living to achieve what you want will come naturally. Passion have to come from within, not from the obsession of external results.

Zero points, valuable experience

In the last competition I joined, my way of thinking was out of balance. I lost the connection to the love for my passion and I focused on a certain result. In my dive I was disconnected to my “diving mode” since my mind was focused on the result. When in “diving mode” my mind and whole body is fully connected in a deeper consciousness. The communication with the whole body tells me when to end my dive at the right time. This, to be able to do my surface protocol with control so that the judges can show me a white card without doubts. This time, I was disconnected. My mind was disconnected from my body. Communication didn’t work. I blocked the communication with an obsession for a long dive. A too long dive. I wanted the result so bad that in the end, the dive resulted in zero points. On the other hand, the dive gave me a thousand points in experience and an important lesson. This performance gave me so many, extremely valuable knowledge. Better to learn the lesson now than later, since I am preparing myself for a season of new disciplines. Deep diving season approaches and all that comes with it.

Live & achieve

Let the achievements be the result on your way of living your passion in a harmonious way. Never let your passion break you down. If you accept the fact that great results will come with the process, progress will come, and there is nothing called failure. Follow the journey, welcome and embrace all results.

Be kind to your self, be kind to others.

Nicole Edensbo, 2019-06-15
Gothenburg, Sweden

When taking time to just be, the amazing world will expose everything in this extraordinary existence of life and all parts in it. From the biggest forests, mountains and oceans to the smallest elements of us there is vibrating life clamoring for attention.

Listen

The clamoring is obvious when taking the time to use and listen to all senses. When taking time to listen, see, smell, taste and feel, the ability to perceive even the smallest movement in this life will develop. The ability will develop and proliferate. New unexpected thoughts and sensations will come to your mind and body.

Movements of life

One day I saw a pigeon sitting on the bannister of the balcony with the back towards me. The pigeon was sitting there so still and quiet and I approached slowly it to come closer and capture the moment. When standing there one meter from this other being I realized I was so close I could see the small movements of its body. I could see the pigeon taking its breaths. The soft feathers on its back were moving away and towards each other in a repetitive way. I was so close I could see the essential movements of life in the body of this other living being. The small but so important movements of life.

Through breathing

To be able to come close enough to see, hear or even feel someone breathe is something special. There is so much someone’s breath can tell if it’s fast or slow, regular or irregular, shallow or deep or no breath at all. Breathing connects us. It connects all living beings. We breathe because we live, we live because we breathe. Through breath we bring life to others and they bring life to us.

From the inside

To see these movements and having time to reflect about something as basic as breathing, I feel that I come closer to life. I experience life with my inside, through my senses. I beleive an extreme focus on the outside inhibits our ability to come closer to life. The focus on the outside makes us sick and it consumes us slowly until we don’t know who we are. We don’t know who we are except from our apparition as a reflection in the mirror. Come closer to life and live. Experience your life with your inside. With your heart. Through all of your senses.

Be kind to your self, be kind to others.

Nicole Edensbo, 2019-05-04
Tranås, Sweden

Everywhere nature is so strikingly beautiful, full of life and welcoming love. There are innumerable places to acquaint, bays to enjoy, rocks to climb and depths to transcend.

The inner voice

The waters of Greece invite you to go deep, develop and explore not only the world around you but also your inner self. The ability to move in three dimensions of space arouses the feeling of being in another world. Less physical gravity somehow releases the logical thinking mind and the dampen isolating sounds invite you to come closer and listen to the voice inside you as the water embraces your whole body. Liberty is the word. Liberty is the freedom of letting go and release your self physically and mentally.

Embrace life

Walking around the ruins of ancient Greece awakens my mind and reminds me that the time on earth is precious. The time as a human on earth is precious and it is our obligation to welcome and embrace what is given to us. We have to listen and recieve what the Universe offers us. Listen to our inner voice and where it wants to lead us. Every living being has a gift. Every human has a gift that it is their own to possess. The gift is to be. It is so simple but still so complicated. We are so busy doing what we think we ought to to do in life that we completeley forget about being. We are so in to fullfill the obligations at work and the expectations from society that we translate this to demands that we lay on our selves in our lives. It is an art to be satisfied without achieving or analysing. It is a rare gift and it needs training. Training to be able to feel the presence of the vibrating life on earth and recieve the caresses from the Universe.

Clarity

When I listen to my inner voice I start experiencing life through a different perspecitve, in an other level. All scents become so distinct so as the different tastes that touch my tounge. The colors appear more clear and luminous. The vibrations of the sounds are more determined as they penetrate the air. The structures and shapes invite me to touch and feel with my whole body. To touch and feel life. All of this stimulates and energises the creative mind. The urge to create is a fact. The physical and mental sensations amaze me over and over again and as I listen I fall in love with life again and again.

Be kind to your self, be kind to others.

Nicole Edensbo, 2019-04-26
Gothenburg, Sweden

There are many important components to become a good freediver. Training set up and diet are crucial. But for me the mindset is everything. In my dives I use mindfulness as natural way to meet the dives.

Physically we need to be totally relaxed, mentally we have to be ready. Ready to push ourselves until the body screams for a new breath… We have to welcome this with a calm and focused mind.

All athletes has their own secrets

Most of the time while spending time with freedivers I’m struck by the friendly atmosphere, it doesn’t matter if it’s training, a mini comp, the Swedish Championship or even the World Championship. Although we’re rivals and compete against each other, it is freediving we have in common. I meet people with a passion for freediving and some who even has freediving as a lifestyle, our conversations and discussions are often about training, diets or mindset. It is so exciting that every athlete has their own set up and thoughts behind their achievements. In one way it feels like we share a common secret. The secret of how to stretch, what some people would call, ” the boundaries for what is possible”.

A calm & focused mind

Every athlete also has their own secret. The secret of how they’ve reached this level and how they are able to do these extraordinary things. Some people choose to share the secret and some people don’t. In my opinion to be a master of relaxation, concentration and focus is crucial within freediving. Physically we need to be totally relaxed, mentally we have to be ready. Ready to push ourselves until the body screams for a new breath. The need for a breath manifests itself through contractions in the body, the body is trying to take this breath, but we know we can do more. We have to welcome this with a calm and focused mind.

Precense & Distance

First I need the mental stability. With a stable mind I can get everything out of my physical capacity. The mental and physical strength is so closely interconnected to me and I feel that it becomes extra clear through my experinces through freediving. I use mindfulness in my dives. Mindfulness is about conscious presence, being here and now without valuing or analyzing. In the dive I have to be fully aware of what is going on with my body and I have to accept what happens. With that I can be aware of my actions with a kind of a mental distance. This mental distance makes me experience a physical distance as well. I observe what happens. I observe but I don’t value the signals unless they are crucial to my consciousness. I’ve now reached a level in my development when this way of meeting the dives with mindfulness is so natural to me that I do dives without feeling any discomfort at all. I just enjoy the dives, enjoy being.

Be kind to your self, be kind to others.

Nicole Edensbo, 2019-04-09
Gothenburg, Sweden

I spent the evening going through some photos. I want to say, I love all seasons. All seasons have their own charm but while looking at these pictures I can only say that I’m really looking farward to the Swedish summer. To experience all the amazing colours, smells, sounds and feelings that summer brings.

Be kind to your self, be kind to others.

Nicole Edensbo, 2019-03-15
Gothenburg, Sweden

Whatever happens it is important to be aware of how you react, think and handle different situations. Situations that you experience to be difficult or hard are especially important to be aware of. Otherwise they might take unnecessary lot of time of your thoughts and thinking. Being aware and logically is important in order to be able to accept a situation and move on. It’s all about mindset. Focus.

Freediving & Life

Through freediving I see many parallels to life. I usually say that a dive is like the whole life itself. Maybe a little simplistic but that is how I see it and how I experience it. In freediving I’m trained to handle situations that feel uncomfortable. This also makes me ready to handle completely different situations in life.

The way of thinking

When I find myself in a situation that I experience to be difficult or don’t like, but something necessary to go through, I try to remember me to be aware of my thoughts to handle the situation and accept it the way it is. The situation is here and now and I cannot turn back time. I must therefore welcome the situation, it is the first step. After I’ve done that, it’s all about focusing right. I have to make an assessment if it is a situation I can influence or not. I have to identify if it is something I can control or not, if I can make a difference. If I can control or influece the situation, I make sure to create the changes needed. If it’s not within my control or my ability to influence, I just have to drop it. It is as simple as that. The third thing is the importance to put the whole situation in the right perspective. I try to zoom out in time and space and see it all in the context as part of life. Sometimes the own thoughts can be so great that they seem to be the only reality and giving the whole picture of universe. When zooming out from that delusion it is surprising how fast the experience of here and now changes with the thughts of the mind.The situations relation to life might change in an unexpected way. The issue might turn out to be rather small with a new perspecitve to the context. A new perspecitve that facilitates to accept and move on.

Experiences from the World Championship

While training sometimes I use this way of thinking, it often happens I use this in other situations in life as well. This mindset was necessary for me to use several times during the World Championships. I had to welcome situations and realizing that I could not change them. The biggest thing I had to handle was the fact that a forgot to make my announcement to the finals in STA and there for was not allowed to participate. I had to accept it. What happened had happened and nothing I could change. It was out of my control. Off course I was sad and disappointed and had feelings in my body that I needed to be expressed. It was important to me. I needed to allow myself to be sad. To express feelings it is a natural and fundamental part of being a human being. I choose to see the situation from a life perspective and the issues suddenly became quite small. The thoughts made it easier to let it go, I was able to accept the situation. When bad things happen I always think it is because something even better is still to come. I choose to see the positive things. This event was also exactly the case. Something was still to come that was so much bigger.

Be kind to yourself, be kind to others.

Nicole Edensbo, 2019-03-09
Gothenburg, Sweden

A friend I have through freediving, wrote the following to me:
“You hinted in the blog that you are working on doing things moderately this year, 2019, and I understand that you don’t think, that is what you did in 2018. I would love to read more about how you felt during the time you trained too hard and how you came to realize that you trained too much and how it felt then. “

Reluctantly I realized that a major change was necessary, and I deleted everything from my schedule.

When I read the questions from my friend, I thought: What did I actually feel? What actually made me understand that it was too much? I hope this post gives some answers to the questions.

When good is not enough

I happen to be the kind that is satisfied with neither good or better. What I do should be the best otherwise it doesn’t matter. Much of what I do I try to do as optimized and as efficiently as possible with the best results. This applies to almost everything I do. From how I train, how I perform at work to social gatherings and even how I cut my cucumbers.

This property leads to very good things, but it is also easy to break down in success or on the way to it. You lose yourself and your way and the echoing emptiness arises when you forget the meaning.

High ambitions

The whole thing is based on that I love the freediving, it is so fantastic fun. It gives me so much. During the world championships in June, I talked to people who made me want to achieve more. I came home with so much inspiration and motivation, so I designed a training program that I believed in. It included the gym, running, yoga and pool training. I followed my ambitious plan which included very few days for recovery, but it felt like no problem then, it was so much fun, and my training led to new personal bests.

Time

I trained hard and the training gave me lots of energy. I felt a sense of happiness every time I felt the smell of chlorine and heard the familiar sounds, of water in motion and human voices, that bounced off the bare walls of the swimming hall, but it was too much. Training, work and other time for leisure. The time was not enough. Whatever I did I experienced that I was late in my schedule, I wanted more! When I woke up in the morning I thought it was too late. I was too late home from work and then to training. I went to bed too late. The next day I felt I woke up too late… And so, it went on. I experienced that I didn’t have time to do everything I wanted and tried to catch up by doing more.

I pushed away the emotions…I began to feel indifferent to most things and it was not like me.

Indifference

One week in October I experienced some of the extremes of life within ten days. On my 30^th birthday while celebrating being in the middle of life, I got a message about a passing of a person I had known for almost my entire life, a message I couldn’t handle at that time. I was planning my birthday party for my friends and didn’t have time to process it there and then, I pushed away the emotions. A few days later, one of my best friends got a wonderful little girl. Then it was time for the funeral and another party, with my family. At the same time job and training went on and I didn’t have any time for reflection. The weeks passed and my experience that I was after my schedule in everything I did just grew. Just the idea of new activities in the schedule or meetings with other people made me feel stressed. I began to feel indifferent to most things and that was not like me.

Stay at home!! … and be satisfied with the decision. It’s good for you.

Need for recovery

Valdemar, whom I train with, could see what happened to my energy even on training. He saw that I was not my usual self and encouraged me to take it easy. Something I did not want to listen to. One afternoon before the training, when he knew I needed recovery he wrote to me: “… You don’t have time to reflect. Stay at home!! … and be satisfied with the decision. It’s good for you. “. I wrote, “Why do you write that to me?“…I needed no answer, a few seconds later I leaned back on the couch and gave me time to feel. I felt how exhausted I was, both physically and mentally. Reluctantly I realized that a major change was necessary, and I deleted everything from my schedule.

Be responsive on the top

In the experience that you are at the top, when you have the most energy and capacity, it is important to be responsive. It is important not to be blinded by the successes and the sense of happiness. It might be a peak that hides a steep slope that you have to be observant on. Do not let your successes break you down. Be present and aware, take the time you need for reflection and recovery even though it’s only fun at the moment. Get to know yourself. Be responsive and take your time to understand what you need. If you are good at pushing yourself, you may not need someone else who also pushes you but actually does the opposite. Surround yourself with people who know you and needs. You might need rest. Quiet. Recovery. …maybe breath?

Be careful and listen to yourself because nothing is more important than you! Nothing.

Be kind to your self, be kind to others.

Nicole Edensbo, 2019-02-23
Gothenburg, Sweden