Harmonious or obsessive passion?
Recently I read a text that one of my best friends sent to me. The text is about passion and the two different kinds of it. In the text they call it harmonious passion and obsessive passion. It made me stop and think.
Expectations from yourself and people around can easily turn the harmonious passion to something obsessive and destructive.
From within
I believe that through a true passion that comes from within one can achieve extraordinary and amazing things. At the same time there is a risk that the passion develops to an obsessive passion with a greed for the best performances and results. An innocent passion from the heart can easily develop to an obsession, especially when the honest passion leads to the great results by nature. This can be confusing, to know where the limit is. To understand the signs. The limit between love and obsession. Expectations from yourself and people around you can easily turn the harmonious passion to something destructive.
Remember the origin
I believe this is common in many sports and especially within freediving. I have met and heard about athletes who totally lost their passion for freediving because they focused to hard on the results. I have met several athletes who are unkind to themselves. They are unkind since they focus on freediving through external expectations in a result oriented perspective. These athletes have lost their passion through their passion and their extraordinary capacity that comes with it. It is important to always remember why you started. Always remind yourself of the origin. Always have fun.
Passion have to come from within, not from the obsession of external results.
Photo: Michel Filinis Way of thinking
I always say, that to achieve good results focus must be on the process and not the result itself. With that way of thinking there is nothing called failure, only lesson if you prefer to put it that way. With the wanted performance deep in your mind the way of living to achieve what you want will come naturally. Passion have to come from within, not from the obsession of external results.
Zero points, valuable experience
In the last competition I joined, my way of thinking was out of balance. I lost the connection to the love for my passion and I focused on a certain result. In my dive I was disconnected to my “diving mode” since my mind was focused on the result. When in “diving mode” my mind and whole body is fully connected in a deeper consciousness. The communication with the whole body tells me when to end my dive at the right time. This, to be able to do my surface protocol with control so that the judges can show me a white card without doubts. This time, I was disconnected. My mind was disconnected from my body. Communication didn’t work. I blocked the communication with an obsession for a long dive. A too long dive. I wanted the result so bad that in the end, the dive resulted in zero points. On the other hand, the dive gave me a thousand points in experience and an important lesson. This performance gave me so many, extremely valuable knowledge. Better to learn the lesson now than later, since I am preparing myself for a season of new disciplines. Deep diving season approaches and all that comes with it.
Live & achieve
Let the achievements be the result on your way of living your passion in a harmonious way. Never let your passion break you down. If you accept the fact that great results will come with the process, progress will come, and there is nothing called failure. Follow the journey, welcome and embrace all results.
Photo: Michel Filinis Be kind to your self, be kind to others.
Nicole Edensbo, 2019-06-15
Gothenburg, SwedenCloser to life
When taking time to just be, the amazing world will expose everything in this extraordinary existence of life and all parts in it. From the biggest forests, mountains and oceans to the smallest elements of us there is vibrating life clamoring for attention.
Listen
The clamoring is obvious when taking the time to use and listen to all senses. When taking time to listen, see, smell, taste and feel, the ability to perceive even the smallest movement in this life will develop. The ability will develop and proliferate. New unexpected thoughts and sensations will come to your mind and body.
Movements of life
One day I saw a pigeon sitting on the bannister of the balcony with the back towards me. The pigeon was sitting there so still and quiet and I approached slowly it to come closer and capture the moment. When standing there one meter from this other being I realized I was so close I could see the small movements of its body. I could see the pigeon taking its breaths. The soft feathers on its back were moving away and towards each other in a repetitive way. I was so close I could see the essential movements of life in the body of this other living being. The small but so important movements of life.
Through breathing
To be able to come close enough to see, hear or even feel someone breathe is something special. There is so much someone’s breath can tell if it’s fast or slow, regular or irregular, shallow or deep or no breath at all. Breathing connects us. It connects all living beings. We breathe because we live, we live because we breathe. Through breath we bring life to others and they bring life to us.
From the inside
To see these movements and having time to reflect about something as basic as breathing, I feel that I come closer to life. I experience life with my inside, through my senses. I beleive an extreme focus on the outside inhibits our ability to come closer to life. The focus on the outside makes us sick and it consumes us slowly until we don’t know who we are. We don’t know who we are except from our apparition as a reflection in the mirror. Come closer to life and live. Experience your life with your inside. With your heart. Through all of your senses.
Be kind to your self, be kind to others.
Nicole Edensbo, 2019-05-04
Tranås, SwedenListen & Live
Everywhere nature is so strikingly beautiful, full of life and welcoming love. There are innumerable places to acquaint, bays to enjoy, rocks to climb and depths to transcend.
The inner voice
The waters of Greece invite you to go deep, develop and explore not only the world around you but also your inner self. The ability to move in three dimensions of space arouses the feeling of being in another world. Less physical gravity somehow releases the logical thinking mind and the dampen isolating sounds invite you to come closer and listen to the voice inside you as the water embraces your whole body. Liberty is the word. Liberty is the freedom of letting go and release your self physically and mentally.
Photo: Michel Filinis Embrace life
Walking around the ruins of ancient Greece awakens my mind and reminds me that the time on earth is precious. The time as a human on earth is precious and it is our obligation to welcome and embrace what is given to us. We have to listen and recieve what the Universe offers us. Listen to our inner voice and where it wants to lead us. Every living being has a gift. Every human has a gift that it is their own to possess. The gift is to be. It is so simple but still so complicated. We are so busy doing what we think we ought to to do in life that we completeley forget about being. We are so in to fullfill the obligations at work and the expectations from society that we translate this to demands that we lay on our selves in our lives. It is an art to be satisfied without achieving or analysing. It is a rare gift and it needs training. Training to be able to feel the presence of the vibrating life on earth and recieve the caresses from the Universe.
Photo: Michel Filinis Clarity
When I listen to my inner voice I start experiencing life through a different perspecitve, in an other level. All scents become so distinct so as the different tastes that touch my tounge. The colors appear more clear and luminous. The vibrations of the sounds are more determined as they penetrate the air. The structures and shapes invite me to touch and feel with my whole body. To touch and feel life. All of this stimulates and energises the creative mind. The urge to create is a fact. The physical and mental sensations amaze me over and over again and as I listen I fall in love with life again and again.
Photo: Michel Filinis Be kind to your self, be kind to others.
Nicole Edensbo, 2019-04-26
Gothenburg, SwedenThe Blue Hole of Athens
Some days passed before we could go deepdiving since my luggage arrived to Athens later than I did. The day after receiving my equipment we went to Pigadi. The blue hole of Athens.
Me in my brand new 5mm wetsuit, Proteus II, from Fourth Element. Photo: Michel Filinis Arrival
Luckily the luggage arrived with all items intact in the bag in which I had almost all my diving equipment including my brand new 5mm suit from Fourth Element. When we arrived, the sun was shining and we spent some time on the rocks by the sea to savor the environment. When coming to a new place I need some time for adjustment and just mentally land where my physical body is. The wind was a little bit cold but the april sun was warm enough to warm us up before the dives.
Michel preparing the diving equipment before entering the sea. 
Me in my rashguard from Fourth Element from the Ocean positive collection. Photo: Michel Filinis Sunshine, lighting & thunder
The clouds started getting thicker and darker as we started to put our wetsuits on. When all the equipment was on and we were ready to enter the sea we felt the first drops of rain fall on our heads coloring the rocks to darker nuances. We entered the sea and we saw the lightning. A lightning followed by a rumbling thunder. A magestic act of nature. I have always loved diving in the rain. The intense impressions above the surface in contrast to the calmness beneath is something special.
Pigadi – “The Well”
The name of the hole, Pigadi, means “The Well”. The bottom of the sea is at 10 meters, where the 3 meters wide hole opens and invites you to go another 20 meters. Pigadi has a total depth of 30 meters. At the bottom of the vertical cave an other horizontal cave leads to many other caves that no person knows for sure where they lead. New environments and new waters has to be explored with respect as the particular conditions differs from each site. For me it is the mental thing. To feel home. To feel safe. To dive in to a dark hole is quite an experience since it is hard to see what is in there, before you are in it. The way to find out is to approach it and enter.
Me exploring Pigadi. Step by step. Photo: Michel Filinis 
Michel during the first dive ascendning from Pigadi. Entering the unexplored
At first I could not even understand it was a hole. What I saw only looked like seabed on the bottom of the sea. It was so dark and hard to imagine that there was a hole to the depth of 30 meters. I decided to dive down and get to know it better as Michel prepared the buoy and the equipment. As I entered the shadow of Pigadi the inside revealed itself meter by meter. I had to take one step at a time for each dive to not be frightened by the unexplored. I needed some dives but then I submerged to the depth to see the cave that leads to the unknown. I stayed there for some seconds, looking around as the lightning from the sky above threw flashes of light into the hole for shorter than the blink of an eye. Above the surface the rain fell heavy on the surface of the sea. The lightning and thunder reminded us of the power and wonderful act of nature that we were fortunate to experience.
Be kind to your self, be kind to others.
Nicole Edensbo, 2019-04-24
Athens, GreeceThe competition in Athens
One week in Athens have passed and this week have given me so much more than I could imagine. I came here to do pool and depth training and to compete in a pool competition. I came here more or less without any expectations at all and the last days had so many wonderful moments.
Photo: Michel Filinis Amazing Greece
The amazing nature of Greece and the city and people of Athens has made me experience sensations of all kind. The smell of the soil is something special here. I had experiences in different waters with an extraordinary variation of weather with rain, hail, thunder, lighting, a warm, bright sun and harsh wind in the greek weather of April. The soft water of the lake and the chilling salty water of the Aegean Sea. This week has not only given me experiences of nature but of people with friendly familiar and new faces and newfound friend ships.
Together with Aris Ioannidis who helped me with the coaching! Lovely to meet you again, as always. The outdoor pool competition
There are so many things to write about from this week, let’s start with the pool competition! The pool of the competition was an outdoor 50 meter pool which was a new experience for me. This time there were no voices and sound of water bouncing on the walls but there was a blue sky were I could see the seagulls fly while relaxing before my OT. I really enjoyed the greek count down and greek conversation around me, the laughs and the hookbreathing. My OT:s were plannes to be 10:50 AM for DNF and 12:10 PM for DYNBifins. Quite little time between the starts.
PB and national record!
The competition was held in a 50 meter out door pool. My first dive gave me a white card, 135 meter DNF which is a competition PB! Less than 80 minutes later I made a new PB, white card and a new national record of DYNBifins with the distance of 166 meters. The fins I used were sent to Athens especially to me for this competitions. The fins are from Triton and I recieved them two days before the competition. That meant that I had one day to try them in the pool before the competition. So the total distance of training with my bifins were 200 meters before the competition.
My new bifins from Triton
My first pair of real long fins and I am so happy they fit my feet perfectly and follows the rhythm and the intensity of my kicks in a perfect way. Thank you Trition for my new beautiful babies Lighting and Thunder. The fins have souls, therefore they need names. What I am most happy about regarding this competition is that event though I had been diving both in pool and the ocean for one week in a row I had the strength to do PB in both DNF and DYNBifins. This means I have more to give and my promise is that more is to come!
Be kind to your self, be kind to others.
Nicole Edensbo, 2019-04-23
In the air between Athens and Moscow, EuropeSpring time call
It is spring time and usually in springtime something calls for me. It is a call that wants me to see, experience and learn new things. This time could listen to my call and now I’m here, for my call.
Training & Recreation
After a more than 12 hours long flight trip the plane started its landing. We we went through the soft and partially transparent clouds and finally I could se the beautiful landscapes and the blue water of the mediterranean sea. I was landing at Aten-Elefthérios Venizélos. I had landed in the capital of Greece.
The first days
This was quite a spontaneous trip. In the late winter I really felt to go, see and explore something new. Maybe to get a distance and time to think. This trip is primary a step to really learn new things about deepdiving and about my self. Since this is the third day waking up in this place on earth I’ve already spent some time training in the pool and diving in the ocean together with a new found friend. Since my bag arrived later than me I didn’t have all my diving equipment from day one so we also spent time just exploring above surface. Exploring the beauty of Greece at all levels. I enjoy every single moment and every second of being here, breathing here. And not breathing. Even though I lived in Crete I actually never spent time in Athens. The familiar and unfamiliar smells brings back and creates new beautiful memories.
And a competition
The 21rst of april I will wrap up my days here by joining a competition in which I’ll do DNF and DYNB. Looking forward to it. I’m expecting a delivery of my new bifins today! Can’t wait to try them on!
DNF-training. Photo: Michel Filinis Be kind to yourself, be kind to others.
Nicole Edensbo, 2019-04-17
Athens, GreeceMindfulness is the key
There are many important components to become a good freediver. Training set up and diet are crucial. But for me the mindset is everything. In my dives I use mindfulness as natural way to meet the dives.
Physically we need to be totally relaxed, mentally we have to be ready. Ready to push ourselves until the body screams for a new breath… We have to welcome this with a calm and focused mind.
All athletes has their own secrets
Most of the time while spending time with freedivers I’m struck by the friendly atmosphere, it doesn’t matter if it’s training, a mini comp, the Swedish Championship or even the World Championship. Although we’re rivals and compete against each other, it is freediving we have in common. I meet people with a passion for freediving and some who even has freediving as a lifestyle, our conversations and discussions are often about training, diets or mindset. It is so exciting that every athlete has their own set up and thoughts behind their achievements. In one way it feels like we share a common secret. The secret of how to stretch, what some people would call, ” the boundaries for what is possible”.
This photo is from a STA training with my apnea club Juniordykarna. I heard someone quite new to freediving reached 5 minutes. A calm & focused mind
Every athlete also has their own secret. The secret of how they’ve reached this level and how they are able to do these extraordinary things. Some people choose to share the secret and some people don’t. In my opinion to be a master of relaxation, concentration and focus is crucial within freediving. Physically we need to be totally relaxed, mentally we have to be ready. Ready to push ourselves until the body screams for a new breath. The need for a breath manifests itself through contractions in the body, the body is trying to take this breath, but we know we can do more. We have to welcome this with a calm and focused mind.
A calm and focused mind. The bikini is from the Ocean Positive collection from Fourth Element. Precense & Distance
First I need the mental stability. With a stable mind I can get everything out of my physical capacity. The mental and physical strength is so closely interconnected to me and I feel that it becomes extra clear through my experinces through freediving. I use mindfulness in my dives. Mindfulness is about conscious presence, being here and now without valuing or analyzing. In the dive I have to be fully aware of what is going on with my body and I have to accept what happens. With that I can be aware of my actions with a kind of a mental distance. This mental distance makes me experience a physical distance as well. I observe what happens. I observe but I don’t value the signals unless they are crucial to my consciousness. I’ve now reached a level in my development when this way of meeting the dives with mindfulness is so natural to me that I do dives without feeling any discomfort at all. I just enjoy the dives, enjoy being.
While doing Static I prefer being cold. Here I wear a rashguard from Fourth Elements Ocean Positive collection. Be kind to your self, be kind to others.
Nicole Edensbo, 2019-04-09
Gothenburg, SwedenWell done & Thank you!
An event as the Swedish Championship doesn’t create it iself, there are many hours of organization and individual preperation behind this. Everything is prepared to create the best conditions for the athletes to perform on top as the OT approaches. Thank you all for making this possible.
The organization
First I want to thank the organizers of this years Championship, the freediving club Uppsala Tumlaren. Your effort the last twelve months really had and amazing result as we could see this weekend. For me as an athlete the arrangement went smoth without any problems. You were always there answering questions. Actually most of the time you answered before the questions even emerged. That is worth so much. The website ( https://www.officialtop.org/events/1/info ) was really helpful. Such a great work behind this. I really hope we will use it for all upcoming events. Thank you!
Photo: Per Benkowski
The volunteers
I wish I had time to personally thank all the safety divers, judges, photografers, speaker, medics and all other volunteers but I realised that would take a while. This time I do this through this blog. Without your commitment it wouldn’t be possible to do this. You were always there to help us, guide us, give us the best experience and even save our lives if necessary. Your engagement is big and worth a lot. You are so much appreciated. Thank you every one of you!
Elin Larsgren from Juniordykarna spent several hours below and above the surface to capture the golden moments of the dives. Amazing job! This very moment I captured just before the award ceremony. Juniordykarna, my apnea club
I also want to thank my apnea club Juniordykarna for all pool time you enable. Thank you for all the encouraging and inviting gestures and challenging words. Also for sharing all the happy faces, friendly smiles and genuine hugs. Your enthusiasm and desire to share the interest and spread the words about freediving is a true inspiration.
Peter Johnsen, Anders Lundberg and Nils Manne from my apnea club Juniordykarna, Gothenburg. Valle
Last in this post but definitively not least I want to thank you Valle. For encouraging me to slow down and guiding me in the right direction when I pretend I can go on with a speed barely suitable for autobahn on this sometimes tricky and unexplored path. Thank you for spending all these hours in the pool with me and in between just longing for an other shot of hypoxia. Thank you for sharing this passion and commitment with me. This insatiable passion for freediving.
Photo: Elin Larsgren Be kind to your self, be kind to others.
Nicole Edensbo, 2019-04-03
Gothenburg, SwedenFour times gold, 1000 times feelings!
What I aimed for also turned out to be the final result of the weekend. I already miss the faces of the athletes and the dense air of feelings. Again I leave a competition that have brought me many new experiences through mine but this time mostly other athletes performances.
This fantastic picture is taken during my DYN-dive in the Swedish Championship. Photo: Peter Johnsen DYN day and final results
My intention was to make a white-card-dive. I wanted to do a dive I could be happy with that would give me the golden medal in the last discipline and also in the combination. I was so relaxed before the dive. I really had time to enjoy the athmosphere. The warm and bright sun was shining through the windows, through the surface of the water, landing on the back of the divers, throwing momentary shades on the bottom of the pool. The water was soft and clear. I made a safe dive having some struggle with the shifting pool depth as you can see in the video below but nothing that stopped me from doing what I came here to do. The longest DYN-dive in the ladies class. 170 meters, white card.
The many performances
I’m so happy and amazed by the other athletes performances. The personal bests, the national records, all medals. I’m impressed by the athletes who made their first competition, the athlete who lost the fin during the dive but didn’t give up and the athlete who made a DNF dive with one arm and one leg. Every white card is an achievement and every single yellow. The long dives that were longer than all the others but turned out to be red cards. Even a red card is an achievement. This time I also learned that DNS (Did Not start) might be a bigger achievement than starting without motivation and passion. Everything, all experiences are worth something and important for every single one.
Valdemar Karlsson DYN 208 meter white card, silver! The winner of the combination. Photo: Andreas Kron 
Robin Gunnarsson on his way up to the surface in DNF. Photo: Andreas Kron 
Me and Hans Fogelberg DYN-gold medalists in women and mens class. Photo: Karin Fogelberg The feelings
It fascinates me how some few minutes dive can make the athletes experience so much and affect them in different ways. Many dives need time for reflection and need to be shared with others. During the weekend I’ve seen relaxed faces and bodies, tense sights and soft smiles. Tears falling on the cheeks from happines, sadness, disappointment and even melancholy. I’ve seen and felt warm and supportive hugs and shared big laughs. At the same time the extraordinary tense and vibrating feeling of concentrated and goal-oriented focus is striking. All feelings in one weekend in Uppsala, Sweden. This is why I just love this. We experience this together and support eachother. The respect between the athletes and all other participants.
Tomas Johansson was the bronze medalist in the mens class in all disciplines and combination points. Photo: Elin Larsgren Final results top three total points women and men
All final results can be found through this link: https://www.officialtop.org/events/1/results
Be kind to your self, be kind to others.
Nicole Edensbo, 2019-04-01
Somewhere between Uppsala and Gothenburg, Sweden.First competition day is over, I go to bed with a smile!
It is with a smile I go to bed tonight. It has been an amazing day performing in the disciplines STA and DNF, meeting other athletes and see them perform. I love the smile of the athletes being new to the sport and doing PB:s in their first Championship.
Photo: Andreas kron STA – waiting
With a water temperature of 27 degrees Celsius I feel comfortable. I always prefer being more cold than warm while doing STA. The whole performance felt so light, so calm and under control. My plan was to wait out the others. That was exactly what happend. My aim in STA was to do a good dive and still have strength for the upcoming DNF dive wich was later in the afternoon. Tha STA was not a huge dive for me but it was a dive that gave me a white card, 5:48 minutes and a gold medal.
Photo: Andreas Kron DNF
While doing a DNF dive it is not that easy to know what the other competitors in the same heat are doing and how long their dives are going to be. To be honest, this year, a good position in each dicipline and in the combination is what I want. The national records can wait. This is the one competition a year that gives the opportunity to bring home the title gold medalist in the swedish championship in pool freediving. I’m happy with my performance, the dive went smooth. White card, 128 meters and a gold medal.
Photo: Andreas Kron New faces, fantastic performances!
This year there are many new faces to me! I’m so happy to see the interest of the sport grow and see the new athletes perfom. I want to mention the fantastic Hilma Karlsson from Linköping who did great PB:s in DNF (74 meters) and in STA (05:05 minutes), which also gave her a bronze medal! Congratulations! In the picture below you see Hilma and Oskar Särnholm preparing for their STA. Rebecca Broberg and me preparing as well. The fantastic Emma Åkerrén from the organization who brought home the silver medal in DNF. Hasse and Valdemar who took gold and silver in DNF and last Dena Parsa relaxing before DNF performance.
One more day
Tomorrow it is the second and last competition day. It is time for DYN. I’ll publish a post when the time is given to me.
Be kind to your self, be kind to others.
Nicole Edensbo, 2019-03-30
Uppsala, Sweden
