Have you ever heard the voice of change? Maybe you hear it, listen to it and even follow it. Maybe you hear it but force against it, controlling the world around you.

Need for change

Everything changes all the time, all the time everything is moving. From the biggest mountain to the smallest atom, from the most violent storm to the gentle breath of a living being. Everywhere there is movement. Sometimes the change is so small that we cannot even see it, or so slow that we cannot percieve it. Things are changing, inside of you and inside of me. I think we forget about this sometimes. Being to busy doing other things than to hear, listen and follow to the voice of change. Instead we tend to cling to a comfortable, static subsistence.

The cracking hurts, but the voice of change is so strong. Determined it tells me to move…

What we don’t understand is that that kind of subsistense is just an imaginary creation in our lifes that needs to be controlled and forced. It has nothing to do with the world around us. That subsistence could be comfortable in a world that does not change. But that is not the way it is. Instead this world strives for balance with all of its energy. Balance means change, balance means movement. To antagonise that enery there is the same amount of energy needed. Sooner or later the imaginary subsistence will crack from all the tension around. The crack has different shapes. Sometimes disguised as an imbalance in relations, in the body, or mind.

Move on

I have started to try to listen and follow this voice of change instead of fighting the energy back. Instead I follow that stream of energy. I try to follow even as the voice seems to lead me in the opposite direction of my comfortable, static, imaginary subsistense. This is when the discussion starts within me.
At one hand, what do I find in the existence of following the wind?
On the other hand, what do I experience being stationed in one place?
What am I willing to sacrifice?
How does this affect people around me?

The cracking hurts, but the voice of change is so strong. Determined it tells me to move, to follow even the smallest wind, to gather with other winds. Together, being in the middle of the treasure of life.

As I follow the never ending voice of change I percieve the treasure of life;…

The treasure of life

I have understood, being dynamic not attached to a certain place, certain people or certain situations make me see the beauty of the very moment more easily. This happens when I don’t use my attention, my energy to force my subsistense. As I follow the never ending voice of change I percieve the treasure of life; The very moment, in the wonder of the Universe.

Be kind to your self, be kind to others.

Nicole Edensbo, 2019-12-17
Åsbo, Sweden

Leaving a place and moving on to a new one has always been emotionally a bit of a struggle for me. Changes around me make me feel many feelings at the same time. Now, time has come, I leave Kalamata for this time. …the emotional carousel is on.

The whole range of feelings approach me again. All feelings at the same time. I feel happiness and sadness, lukewarm tears stroke my face, for a short while, lingering on my smiling lips before they enter my mouth and land on my tongue. The precious moments of the past make me taste the salty emotions of life. Cold tears pour from the sky, also landing on my tongue but with a sweet taste reminding me of the many precious moments to come.

It is the uniqueness of the very moment that makes it beautiful…let the sunshine from the moments spread its golden light on you back and lift you to higher levels.

I am in between the past and the future. I am in this very moment soaked by the contrasting feelings of life, of ending a chapter and entering a new.
I feel happiness and sadness, I feel full and empty. I feel inspired to meet the future at the same time as a part of me wants to hold on to the past full of wonderful memories. A past full of heat and pleasure, of cold and pain. The past of infinity and nothingness experienced with limitless love and passion.

I feel so blessed and so fortunate, so grateful for everything that I have, and don’t have. So grateful for everything that is a part of my life. I am grateful for what is not a part of my life any more but that added golden shimmer to the moments.
It is the fact that these moments will never come again that makes them precious. It is the uniqueness of the very moment that makes it beautiful. Let go, even of what is precious. Let the sunshine from the moments spread its golden light on you back and lift you to higher levels.

I am leaving a chapter, entering another. It is overwhelming. The whole range of feelings approach me again. All feelings at the same time.
I let it rain.

Be kind to your self, be kind to others.

Nicole Edensbo, 2019-11-17
Somewhere in between, Earth

It has come to be quite many texts, posts and quotes since I started writing this blog. I am happy to have a platform to share my thoughts. In this post I have selected 10 quotes about life that I want to share with you.

Peace & Reflection

“The more peace we have within our own lives, the more we can reflect into the outer world. Without reflection, we go blindly on our way. Find what brings your peace, find time to reflect, and your way will appear both bright and clear.”

Posionous Beauty

“Discover and explore all the beauty of the world. Enjoy it through the eyes of curiosity and true passion. Though, don’t be seduced or blinded by beauty because even beauty can be poisonous. Keep a distance, stay true to yourself. What is most beautiful is within you. The love and beauty within yourself.”

Find the Balance

“Everyone must find their own stability and get to know what conditions are best for themselves and grow from there. Build your own foundation, find your balance and fly.”

Breath In & Refuel

“Take the time you need to refuel. Breathe in, breathe out. Inhale the future, exhale the past and embrace the very moment towards extraordinary achievements.”

Live Your Life

“Realize and live the life you only dream about. Dare to step out of your comfort zone. Explore your self as well as the world around you. Life is happening now.”

Clarity of Mind

“The mind is like water, when it is turbulent it is difficult to see. When it is calm everything becomes clear. Find your peace and clear your mind.”

Self Love

“Always remember to be kind to your self. Being kind to your self starts with showing self love. By unconditional love for your self you will be able to accept who you are and what you are. You will be able to forgive and move on. Move on with a smiling heart.”

Solitude

“Stillness and solitude introduces you to the secrets of your self.”

Consuming Progress

“The extreme focus on the outside inhibits our ability to come closer to life. It consumes us until we don’t know who we are except from our apparition as a reflection in the mirror.”

Let the Storm Clear

Whatever storm you may be facing, remember that you are so much bigger than it is. Find hope in the knowledge that you can and will recover. Restore peace, regain trust, and recognize your will to keep moving. You are clear, bright and steady. The storm is just the conditions around you. Let it clear and meet the new version of your self on the other side.”

Be kind to your self, be kind to others.

Nicole Edensbo, 2019-10-29
Kalamata, Greece

The story below is the freediving story of my first 18 months while entering the world of competitive freediving. In the text I also chose to share some of my general thoughts that have grown through my freediving experience.

Love for the fourth element

I grew up in a big family in Sweden, all of us with a mutual love for the water. My childhood memories are mainly related to happy moments by rivers, lakes or even at the pool or at sea. Most of my weekends and holidays were head underwater as I always preferred to stay below the surface, going deep and being a part of the water. It was my playground, where I felt relaxed and always naturally safe. I guess, my life as a freediver started as a child with the true love for being surrounded by the water, the fourth element.

Introduced to freediving

In the autumn of 2016, I started with freediving, after many years of running and working out at the gym, I wanted to do something different. In 2016, I found a freediving club in Gothenburg and started to train pool freediving. Since I had been doing other competitive sports and performed on a stage during almost all my childhood and teenage years I was used to the situation of competitions and handling the nerves before and during a performance. I joined some competitions, I was quite good at it even as a beginner and I really liked it.

Photos by: Elin Larsgren

Passion & Results

Freediving is a single person sport but still you need a buddy to be there for you. For me freediving is about trust, trusting yourself and trusting your buddy. I was lucky to find that buddy. During the winter of 2016 and spring of 2017 my training became more serious. From the start my buddy believed in my capacity and understood my needs. Through the buddy relation I found a freediving friend who lifted me in the way I needed to be lifted and grounded when I needed to slow down. I am very good at pushing myself and don’t need someone to push me. So, our personalities worked well together, we were balanced, and both of our results improved through the understanding of each other’s needs and our passion for freediving.

…I broke the Swedish national record in DYN twice with 206 and 210 meters….I realized I had become an elite freediver…

We joined many competitions, both national and international. My progress was good, and the results improved fast. In the Swedish Championship in Pool Freediving 2018 I placed first in all three disciplines and hence my first overall victory in the nationals. In the following AIDA Word Championship in Pool Freediving in June 2018 I broke the Swedish national record in DYN twice with 206 and 210 meters. This happend in less than 18 months of dedication. I realized I had become an elite freediver.

Freediving approach

I happen to be the kind of person that is satisfied with neither good or better. I always want to be the best of myself. This approach leads to very good results, but it also has a backside. It is easy to break down in success or on the way to this objective. This is when it is important to remember that passion must come from within and not from the obsession of achieving external results. Expectations from yourself and people around can easily turn a harmonious passion to something destructive.

The line between harmonious passion and obsessive passion is not always clear…is important to do be responsive and aware.

To achieve good results, focus must be on the process and not the result itself. With that way of thinking there is nothing called failure, only lessons learned. It has been a challenge to keep it on a balanced level since freediving is a passion for me and at the same time it had led to great external results. The line between harmonious passion and obsessive passion is not always clear. When entering a world with focus on results it is important to do be responsive and aware.

Thoughts through freediving

Freediving has led me to evolve both physically and mentally on a level that I couldn’t even imagine before I started. The references for what are hassles have been moved through my experiences and achievements within freediving. It is extremely exciting to explore and get to know myself deeper on the mental level and find the connections to the physical performance as I do through freediving. I reflect a lot about mindset and mental and physical health. Through my experiences I see parallels between freediving and life itself. I want to be present and aware, take the time I need for reflection and recovery. Through freediving I learn how to approach life itself, to be in the present moment, here and now through the act of awarenss. Freediving has become my lifestyle: A lifestyle that starts with being kind to myself.

Be kind to your self, be kind to others.

Nicole Edensbo, 2019-10-18
Kalamata, Greece

In the post Lifechanger I explained that the text was a short a simplified version of everything that have happened the last months. Many of the circumstances that made me come to the decision of changing my life was not even mentioned, there are many details not being told. This post is about the acceptance given from the people around.

Prioritizing

I started training and competing pool freediving exactly three years ago. From the first training session, I was hooked. I started freediving because I wanted a new form of training, but freediving ended up being my only focus. My family and friends were by my side, they could see how freediving started changing my life. They could see the transformation. From the first training, I changed my priorities. I started always prioritizing freediving training and competition instead of dinner, party or even weddings. This have not always been appreciated. Some people see it as a sacrifice, but I don’t like that word. What I do, is simply making choices prioritizing with the help of my intuition. Freediving have been prioritized on many levels for many reasons since it has become my entire life style.

For me, to be accepted as I am, is the most beautiful gift of love someone can give me.

Acceptance

The consequences have not always been the easiest to handle. The people around me have not always understood the choices I have made. Though, they have accepted and respected them. They have accepted me going my way and welcomed me with open arms when we meet. Without the acceptance from family and friends the journey would not have been the same.

It is important to be able to follow the intuition that comes from within without being compared and questioned by the people around. I have realized, to be accepted and to accept the choices of others are the key for healthy relations. Relations without attachments, wishing the best for the other, relations where letting go is a way of expressing love, these are, for me, real love relations. Some people have the strength to live with this way of seeing things and I am happy to be a part of their lives. For me, to be accepted as I am, is the most beautiful gift of love someone can give me.

…expect the best and accept everything.

I am grateful

I’m lucky to have beautiful people in my life, who see how important the freediving is to me and what it does to me. People who allow me to be who I am. I am eternally grateful for my life and to be part of some people lives even if it often means that I am in the periphery. Without many of these people, I wouldn’t be who I am and where I am today, this very moment. I take nothing or no one, for granted. I expect the best and accept everything.

Want to read more?

The Shape of Deep Freediving, Balance Life, Harmonious or Obsessive Passion? are some posts if you want to read more about my thoughts and reflections around freediving.
Follow me on instagram if you want to be updated with more photos and shorter texts @nicoleedensbo.

Be kind to your self, be kind to others.

Nicole Edensbo, 2019-10-01
Kalamata, Greece